Tonight the same - she's seeing the sponge thing in her aura, but now it's partly red and the other part is turning fuscia. Don't know what that means, my first impression was that some light was getting in there to lighten up the red (anger?). Whatever it is, she's not in touch with the emotion behind it, so I don't know what to do or think even.
Center of her stomach got a little sore when I touched it. So I did some ART aura cleansing, and that got it back to normal. I had this feeling that I was clearing black gook when I did that. Not sure why, but I got that visual in the back of my head.
We then had a little cathartic emotional session, mainly me freaking about about mom's complaining about things about the house. I'm doing my best and I can't take it anymore, especially since I'm wiped out from handing in the final copy of the dissertation on Friday. Then she felt bad that I felt bad, and we had a nice little mother/daughter chat, where she told me she just realized that health is the most important thing and she should stop worrying about the money because the house is paid for and she can get a reverse mortgage if necessary (which would be wonderful, because it would mean she survives this thing).
Mom also misses her sisters. As of late March she's the only one left of her nuclear family.
So then Pauline called me up with some Reiki homework. I need to send Reiki to my mom receiving the perfect drug combination and dose in the perfect time sequence.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Diary No. 17. It's been an interesting 2 weeks
Still doing basically the same routine. Trying to get a Reiki session every night to Dick Sutphen's Healing Force CD.
The week before last, I had to miss 2 days in a row though, because I was so intensely editing the final copy of my dissertation that I ended up being either totally exhausted or too late to start one.
So Pauline comes over to do vortex healing, checks her chakras with the pendulum, and it's obvious from the lack of movement that without the Reiki, she doesn't stay in balance. Very interesting.
Got the CA-19-9 numbers back too. March, pre-surgery: 749, End of April, home for 3 weeks, no other treatment, hardly any appetite: 2700. Crap, the surgery, anesthesia, and preservative-laden hospital food did a number on her immune system.
End of May, 3 weeks after CyberKnife, and 2 weeks after she got her appetite back (so she could drink they whey protein/supplement shakes): 1400. Still double March, but half of the previous month. Just did another test last week, so I'll have that number soon.
Medical oncologist wants to start her on Gemcitibine and 5FU. Supposedly she'll have very mild side effects, with no nausea or vomiting. Possibly her blood count will go down. I'm working as hard as I can with the nutritional and Reiki support so this actually comes true, because from what I see on the net, this isn't really true. Also would like to avoid that low blood count.
Propax NT is recommeded in a great book by a neurosurgeon Natural Strategies for Cancer Patients by Russell Baylock, MD (neurosurgeon). If she starts getting side effects that the other supplements I'm giving don't address, I'll try that.
In any case, she keeps seeing images in her aura. Mostly it's this sponge-like blob that varies between grey, black and red (not too happy to see it could be black or gray). I don't know if that's the cancer she seeing or not. She started telling me it had holes in it the other day.
Also, one night, father's day night to be specific, when I had started the Reiki late and let her stay in her bed to do it, she fell off to sleep, and then woke up saying she had a nightmare in which her father was trying to get her to go somewhere she didn't want to go. THAT was interesting. Not sure where the place was, but I think it's indicating emotional aspects that need to be healed
Tomorrow is the chemo. I think I'm more nervous than my mother.
The week before last, I had to miss 2 days in a row though, because I was so intensely editing the final copy of my dissertation that I ended up being either totally exhausted or too late to start one.
So Pauline comes over to do vortex healing, checks her chakras with the pendulum, and it's obvious from the lack of movement that without the Reiki, she doesn't stay in balance. Very interesting.
Got the CA-19-9 numbers back too. March, pre-surgery: 749, End of April, home for 3 weeks, no other treatment, hardly any appetite: 2700. Crap, the surgery, anesthesia, and preservative-laden hospital food did a number on her immune system.
End of May, 3 weeks after CyberKnife, and 2 weeks after she got her appetite back (so she could drink they whey protein/supplement shakes): 1400. Still double March, but half of the previous month. Just did another test last week, so I'll have that number soon.
Medical oncologist wants to start her on Gemcitibine and 5FU. Supposedly she'll have very mild side effects, with no nausea or vomiting. Possibly her blood count will go down. I'm working as hard as I can with the nutritional and Reiki support so this actually comes true, because from what I see on the net, this isn't really true. Also would like to avoid that low blood count.
Propax NT is recommeded in a great book by a neurosurgeon Natural Strategies for Cancer Patients by Russell Baylock, MD (neurosurgeon). If she starts getting side effects that the other supplements I'm giving don't address, I'll try that.
In any case, she keeps seeing images in her aura. Mostly it's this sponge-like blob that varies between grey, black and red (not too happy to see it could be black or gray). I don't know if that's the cancer she seeing or not. She started telling me it had holes in it the other day.
Also, one night, father's day night to be specific, when I had started the Reiki late and let her stay in her bed to do it, she fell off to sleep, and then woke up saying she had a nightmare in which her father was trying to get her to go somewhere she didn't want to go. THAT was interesting. Not sure where the place was, but I think it's indicating emotional aspects that need to be healed
Tomorrow is the chemo. I think I'm more nervous than my mother.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Diary No. 16 - She's still seeing stuff in her aura
I'd never have expected my mother to get to seeing things in her aura, as I said in the previous post.
Last night I did Reiki while the Dick Sutphen CD was on. We get to the music part, she's sleeping and suddenly says "Lake Como." OK, so I say, "what?" and then she wakes up. When she woke up, she saw a big, dark pink flower in her aura, and next to that was a kidney shaped spot. Now it was just an outline, translucent. Good that it went from black, to gray, to red, to clear. I just wasn't sure what the whole thing meant.
Pauline came over this afternoon and thought that Lake Como is kidney shaped. OK, that makes sense. She also thought that the things in her aura had something to do with part of the origins of the cancer.
So, after a very long and powerful vortex healing session (I sit and put Reiki into the room while she's doing it - supports them both), she came up with my mother's childhood and her parents worrying about money, which possibly made life seem like a grind, and not too sweet, to my mother. A similar feeling came up early in her marriage. Made sense both times. My mother was raised during the depression, and while my grandfather didn't lose his job, he got fewer commissions and was making less money to raise four girls. My father lost his drugstore to the big chains at the beginning of their marriage, and his employment situation didn't really stablize after that for ten years.
Worries about money definitely contribute to my mother's cancer. It was particularly appropriate today because my mother had been feeling desperate about her own money situation, and just before Pauline arrived we had been having this little dramatic argument where I was adamant that she was cutting her life short by worrying so much.
Of course when Pauline tested her chakras with the pendulum, they were very low, hardly moving. The root was the best of them all, but not great. By the end of the session, they were all moving much better. It really was direct proof of the power of the emotions to suppress one's energy and thereby immune system. It is only when my mother is depressed about money that she has these non-moving chakras. Worry is a complete waste of energy, that's for sure!
Later tonight, she had no complaints about dinner, and told me she decided that she was going to stop complaining about things and be more cheerful. I hope that doesn't mean she's going to keep things in more, because I also know that THAT particular aspect of her personality also lowers ones immunity.
So, things get scary when these types of events occur. I start to get scared that she'll start getting really sick again. She is pretty much fine now, apart from being a little tired, and not having the muscle tone she lost in the hospital really back enough to want to go outside in the garden by herself.
Last night I did Reiki while the Dick Sutphen CD was on. We get to the music part, she's sleeping and suddenly says "Lake Como." OK, so I say, "what?" and then she wakes up. When she woke up, she saw a big, dark pink flower in her aura, and next to that was a kidney shaped spot. Now it was just an outline, translucent. Good that it went from black, to gray, to red, to clear. I just wasn't sure what the whole thing meant.
Pauline came over this afternoon and thought that Lake Como is kidney shaped. OK, that makes sense. She also thought that the things in her aura had something to do with part of the origins of the cancer.
So, after a very long and powerful vortex healing session (I sit and put Reiki into the room while she's doing it - supports them both), she came up with my mother's childhood and her parents worrying about money, which possibly made life seem like a grind, and not too sweet, to my mother. A similar feeling came up early in her marriage. Made sense both times. My mother was raised during the depression, and while my grandfather didn't lose his job, he got fewer commissions and was making less money to raise four girls. My father lost his drugstore to the big chains at the beginning of their marriage, and his employment situation didn't really stablize after that for ten years.
Worries about money definitely contribute to my mother's cancer. It was particularly appropriate today because my mother had been feeling desperate about her own money situation, and just before Pauline arrived we had been having this little dramatic argument where I was adamant that she was cutting her life short by worrying so much.
Of course when Pauline tested her chakras with the pendulum, they were very low, hardly moving. The root was the best of them all, but not great. By the end of the session, they were all moving much better. It really was direct proof of the power of the emotions to suppress one's energy and thereby immune system. It is only when my mother is depressed about money that she has these non-moving chakras. Worry is a complete waste of energy, that's for sure!
Later tonight, she had no complaints about dinner, and told me she decided that she was going to stop complaining about things and be more cheerful. I hope that doesn't mean she's going to keep things in more, because I also know that THAT particular aspect of her personality also lowers ones immunity.
So, things get scary when these types of events occur. I start to get scared that she'll start getting really sick again. She is pretty much fine now, apart from being a little tired, and not having the muscle tone she lost in the hospital really back enough to want to go outside in the garden by herself.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Diary No. 15 Are these Reiki Sessions Making my Mom psychic?
You know, when you're really sick, you often become highly sensitive to different energies. For example, when my mother got home from the hospital, and I started these nightly Reiki sessions with her, she saw her whole family there.
When I decided to start doing the aura cleansing technique I learned in ART she was able to identify the exact size and shape of her tumor. I was impressed, but figured that she was in tune with her body, and was just more sensitive.
Now I think she's also becoming more sensitive to all types of energy. Last night, when I wanted to to the aura cleansing with her again, instead of envisioning it in her body, she again saw the energy of it in her aura. Kidney shaped. At first she saw it a black, she told me. Then she saw it as gray. Last night it was red. After I did the cleansing thing it was gone. I also included sweeping her aura with a seagull feather.
She's really starting to enjoy these sessions, and asks for them every night if I don't initiate them.
We should get her blood test results later in the week.
When I decided to start doing the aura cleansing technique I learned in ART she was able to identify the exact size and shape of her tumor. I was impressed, but figured that she was in tune with her body, and was just more sensitive.
Now I think she's also becoming more sensitive to all types of energy. Last night, when I wanted to to the aura cleansing with her again, instead of envisioning it in her body, she again saw the energy of it in her aura. Kidney shaped. At first she saw it a black, she told me. Then she saw it as gray. Last night it was red. After I did the cleansing thing it was gone. I also included sweeping her aura with a seagull feather.
She's really starting to enjoy these sessions, and asks for them every night if I don't initiate them.
We should get her blood test results later in the week.
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