Diary No. 11 Worry, Energetics, and Reiki

Mom has come down with a urinary tract infection. Not a severe one, but we'll see a doctor this week. Don't want her immune system having to work overtime on that, it needs to address the cancer now. She has this terrible habit of downplaying any sickness, so I should have called the doctor this morning, but she thought she was fine. Now in the afternoon she told me it was feeling acute again. Back to cranberry powder, vitamin C, water, and crankiness. I hate that aspect. She's usually easy to take care of, but when she has these cranky days sometimes I want to throw in the towel.

That and financial worries were actually what made her cranky today. When she's like this she makes sure she complains about a few things, mostly that she can't eat or there's something not put away in the kitchen.

Some days, like today, I just have a hard time tolerating the whole situation. Does she want to stay or go? She seems to want to live, but other times life seems to be joyless for her, especially when she focuses on her dwindling bank account, and living with a daughter who's getting her PhD way too late in life for financial comfort. Days like this make me wonder how long she can keep getting better if she lowers her energy level with things like this, and it makes me really sad.

Last night we did have a nice Reiki session though. I did the pendulum and her chakras were not in the greatest shape strength-wise when I checked with the pendulum. Later they were better, but only more balanced.

I also noticed that when I was doing Reiki on her, her whole body was pulling it, all except for the solar plexus/heart chakra area. I did it anyway, because that's an area that's really needed, I know with my head, but my hands weren't telling me anything. It was odd. When I went over to her right side to work on the liver area a little more, yes, I did feel my hands heating up a lot, and mom commented that they felt very hot there.

I also had a feeling that I wanted to go work on her feet for a while. Again, she loved how hot my hands got (Reiki feels so good on the feet!).

Well, this afternoon, Pauline came over and validated some of what I was feeling.
First, she did her own pendulum on the chakras. They were VERY still, except for the root, which was surprisingly good. But that demonstrated to my mother exactly what effect worrying has on your energy system, which supports your immune system.

First, she did a little affirmation work with my mother around the financial worries (I really think this aspect of her personality had a huge effect on her immune system, and let the cancer emerge). Then she turned on the Dick Sutphen CD while working. Previously, my mother didn't want to sit or lie still for the whole session, but since it's self hypnosis, it gets her relaxed enough to conk off to sleep for most of the session.

Pauline thought the dead energy feeling in the chest area was related to the worrying. By the time she got here, the chakras were really really dead, all except for the root, interestingly enough. After the vortex session, they were back to normal. Phew.

Interestingly enough, Pauline also did some work on the feet area, suggested by her guides. Grounding something?

Tomorrow is the cyberknife checkup. I can't wait to see the doctor. OK, mom's got a UTI, but all around she's energetic and looking great.