Diary No. 12

Mom went for her cyberknife checkup yesterday.

Nothing much, the doctor was glad the procedure had alleviated her symptoms, and we're scheduling a CAT scan to see exactly how much the tumor has shrunk. He basically said to try chemo or just "enjoy the time you have left." My mom didn't want to hear that at all, and pretty much blocked it out. But the Dr. was happy about her lack of pain, and we've got to go for a CAT scan in 2 weeks so they can see how much the tumor has shrunk. Love that the only side effect she had was a little tenderness in the stomach area too.

Today we went to the medical oncologist, who did blood tests. Depending on how high (or low) her tumor markers are, he will probably put her on Gemzar and Tarceva. Told her they don't cause nausea or vomiting. The side effects are supposed to be "relatively" mild, but "relatively" is something else for an 84 year-old woman. It's still scary. However, Pauline's other pancreatic cancer client, who is in what seems to be remission, has had very few side effects, and is off traveling right now. So, lets see. I'm going to Reiki whatever I can, and hopefully Pauline will be able to do something with the meds as well.

He was thrilled and surprised that she had only lost about 1.5 pounds since the Cyberknife treatment, that she wasn't jaundiced at all, and that she really feels great. Also, he thought her surgical incision was remarkably-well healed considering how "fresh" it is.

Even though the blood tests are scary in a way, I can't wait to see them because I know they'll be unexpectedly low in tumor markers, etc.

Something is definitely working....and I was thinking that since I do Reiki in the area of the scar every night, that definitely has to have something to do with this.

Heh heh heh....

Funny thing, I was trying to tell him about the smoothie with the supplements, but he didn't really care. So, onward and upward with this. Better to have someone who thinks they're irrelevant than to have someone who thinks I've got to stop.

Tonight I'll go back to doing Reiki on the table with the Dick Sutphen Healing Force CD. And the foot, leg and back massage with jojoba oil.

This is very good.

I'm admiring how unafraid my mother is about this whole thing. She's been a queen of denial all her life, and right now it seems to be serving her very well!